Etiquette & Sunnahs of Gifts (Al-Hadiyyah) in the Quran & Sunnah

1. Sulayman refused the queen’s gift.

Allah says:

فَلَمَّا جَآءَ سُلَيْمَـٰنَ قَالَ أَتُمِدُّونَنِ بِمَالٍ فَمَآ ءَاتَىٰنِۦَ ٱللَّهُ خَيْرٌ مِّمَّآ ءَاتَىٰكُم بَلْ أَنتُم بِهَدِيَّتِكُمْ تَفْرَحُونَ

So when he (the envoy) came to Sulaimān, he said, “Are you extending a financial aid to me? So what Allah has given me is much better than what He has given to you. But you yourselves are proud of your gift. (Surah An-Naml 27:36)

When Bilqis sent a gift to test him, Sulayman said: “What Allah has given me is better than what He has given you — it is you who rejoice in your gift.” Gifts that are really bribes or tests of greed are not received as honours.

2. Give the dowry as a free gift (nihlah).

Allah says:

وَءَاتُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ صَدُقَـٰتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَىْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيٓـًٔا مَّرِيٓـًٔا

Give women their dower in good cheer. Then, if they forego some of it, of their own will, you may have it as pleasant and joyful. (Surah An-Nisa 4:4)

The mahr is called a gift given freely and willingly — the Quran’s picture of giving between hearts: without reluctance, without a reckoning kept.

1. He ﷺ accepted gifts — and gave something in return.

‘Aishah said: “Allah’s Messenger ﷺ used to accept gifts and used to give something in return for them.”

Lesson: The Sunnah of the gift is two-handed: receive with gratitude, and answer generosity with generosity.

2. People timed their gifts for ‘Aishah’s day.

‘Aishah said: “The people used to look forward to the days of my turn to send gifts to Allah’s Messenger ﷺ, seeking thereby his pleasure.”

Lesson: Giving to the one you love, at the moment it will please him most, is a delicacy of manners the Companions practised openly.

3. A gift of fragrance is never refused.

“There are three that are not refused: cushions, oil (fragrance), and milk.” — small gifts carry the etiquette of acceptance; refusing them breaks a heart over nothing.

Lesson: Accept the small gift graciously; the giver gave you his regard, not his merchandise.