Etiquette & Sunnahs of Upholding Ties of Kinship (Silat ar-Rahim) in the Quran & Sunnah
Etiquette & Sunnahs of Upholding Ties of Kinship (Silat ar-Rahim) in the Quran & Sunnah
Upholding ties of kinship in Islam (silat ar-rahim): joining what Allah commanded to be joined, the reward of provision and long life, and the danger of cutting family ties, from the Quran and authentic Sunnah.
Part 1: Kinship in the Light of the Quran
1. Kinship was written into the first command.
Allah says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَٰحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَآءً ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا
O men, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul, and from it created its match, and spread many men and women from the two. Fear Allah in whose name you ask each other (for your rights), and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allah is watchful over you. (Surah An-Nisa 4:1)
The very first verse of Surah an-Nisa joins the fear of Allah with the wombs that bind us — the ties of kinship carry His name.
2. Allah praises those who join what He ordered to be joined.
Allah says:
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَصِلُونَ مَآ أَمَرَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦٓ أَن يُوصَلَ وَيَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ وَيَخَافُونَ سُوٓءَ ٱلْحِسَابِ
and those who maintain the relationships Allah has commanded to be maintained and fear their Lord and are frightful of evil reckoning, (Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:21)
The people of understanding join whatever Allah has commanded to be joined — above all, the ties of family — and they fear the evil reckoning of the one who breaks them.
3. Cutting ties spreads corruption in the land.
Allah says:
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا۟ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوٓا۟ أَرْحَامَكُمْ
So, (O hypocrites,) do you not apprehend that, in case you turn away (from Jihād ), you will spread disorder in the land and will sever your ties of kinship? (Surah Muhammad 47:22)
أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَىٰٓ أَبْصَـٰرَهُمْ
Those are the ones whom Allah has cursed; so He has made them deaf, and made their eyes blind. (Surah Muhammad 47:23)
Severing the family is named beside spreading corruption on earth, and its people are the ones Allah distances from His mercy.
Part 2: Joining the Ties in the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ
1. The womb pleaded — and Allah answered it.
When Allah finished the creation, the womb stood and said: “This is the place of one who seeks refuge with You from being cut.” Allah said: “Are you not pleased that I join the one who joins you, and I cut the one who cuts you?” It said: “Yes, my Lord.” He said: “Then that is yours.”
Lesson: Joining ties is not merely family custom — Allah Himself has bound His own joining to it.
2. Allah’s promise in His own words.
“The word ar-Rahm (womb) takes its name from Ar-Rahman,” said the Prophet ﷺ, “and Allah said: I will keep good relation with the one who keeps good relation with you, and sever relation with him who severs relation with you.”
Lesson: Every visit, call and gift to a relative is answered by Allah’s own nearness.
3. The one who cuts will not enter Paradise.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.”
Lesson: Cutting off family is not a private choice between people; it stands between a person and Paradise.
4. The tie itself will speak on that Day.
‘Aishah reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The tie of kinship is suspended from the Throne and says: Whoever unites me, Allah unites him; and whoever severs me, Allah severs him.”
Lesson: The bond you keep in this world will testify for you in the next.
5. Joining ties expands provision and life.
“Whoever desires that his provision be expanded and his life be prolonged, let him keep good relations with his kith and kin.”
Lesson: The one who feels his rizq is tight should look first at the state of his family ties.
6. Keep joining — even the one who cuts you.
A man said: “Messenger of Allah, I have relatives — I join them and they cut me, I am good to them and they are bad to me, I am patient with them and they are harsh with me.” He ﷺ said: “If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes; and there will remain with you from Allah a supporter against them as long as you stay upon that.”
Lesson: True sila is giving where nothing returns; Allah Himself undertakes the defence of such a person.
7. Neglecting those you maintain is sin enough.
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects the one whom he is responsible to maintain.”
Lesson: Before charity to strangers, the rights of one’s own household and dependents come first.
Adab No. 49 — all evidences for this entry, taken from the DeenHub Global library. Open any link to read the original hadith or ayah in full.
- Part 1, Point 1: Surah An-Nisa (4), Ayah 1
- Part 1, Point 2: Surah Ar-Ra'd (13), Ayah 21
- Part 1, Point 3: Surah Muhammad (47), Ayah 22 and Surah Muhammad (47), Ayah 23
- Part 2, Point 1: Sahih al-Bukhari 5987 (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 2: Sahih al-Bukhari 5988 (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 3: Sahih Muslim 2554 (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 4: Sahih Muslim 2555 (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 5: Sahih al-Bukhari 2067 (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 6: Sahih Muslim 2558a (Sahih)
- Part 2, Point 7: Sunan Abu Dawud 1692 (Hasan (Al-Albani))