Etiquette of Oaths & Vows (Al-Ayman wa an-Nudhur) in the Quran & Sunnah

1. The expiation of oaths is written in the Quran.

Allah says:

لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ ٱللَّهُ بِٱللَّغْوِ فِىٓ أَيْمَـٰنِكُمْ وَلَـٰكِن يُؤَاخِذُكُم بِمَا عَقَّدتُّمُ ٱلْأَيْمَـٰنَ ۖ فَكَفَّـٰرَتُهُۥٓ إِطْعَامُ عَشَرَةِ مَسَـٰكِينَ مِنْ أَوْسَطِ مَا تُطْعِمُونَ أَهْلِيكُمْ أَوْ كِسْوَتُهُمْ أَوْ تَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ ۖ فَمَن لَّمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ ثَلَـٰثَةِ أَيَّامٍ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ كَفَّـٰرَةُ أَيْمَـٰنِكُمْ إِذَا حَلَفْتُمْ ۚ وَٱحْفَظُوٓا۟ أَيْمَـٰنَكُمْ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ

Allah does not hold you accountable for your laghw (ineffectual) oaths, but He does hold you accountable for the oath with which you have bound yourself. Its expiation is to feed ten poor persons at an average of what you feed your family with, or to clothe them, or to free a slave. However, if someone cannot afford, he has to fast for three days. That is expiation for the oaths that you have sworn. Take care of your oaths. That is how Allah makes His signs clear to you, so that you may be grateful. (Surah Al-Ma'idah 5:89)

Allah does not take you to task for idle words in your oaths, but for what your hearts have earned and bound deliberately — and its expiation is feeding, clothing, freeing, or fasting. The oath is heavy because its repair is heavy.

2. Do not break oaths after confirming them.

Allah says:

وَأَوْفُوا۟ بِعَهْدِ ٱللَّهِ إِذَا عَـٰهَدتُّمْ وَلَا تَنقُضُوا۟ ٱلْأَيْمَـٰنَ بَعْدَ تَوْكِيدِهَا وَقَدْ جَعَلْتُمُ ٱللَّهَ عَلَيْكُمْ كَفِيلًا ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَفْعَلُونَ

Fulfill the Covenant of Allah when you pledge, and do not break oaths after you swear them solemnly, while you have made Allah a witness over you. Surely, Allah knows all that you do. (Surah An-Nahl 16:91)

The oath-breaker who uses Allah’s name as a cover for deception is addressed directly: the name of Allah is not a tool for twisting out of commitments.

1. Never swear by your fathers — by Allah, or silence.

The Prophet ﷺ overtook ‘Umar swearing by his father while riding, and said: “Lo! Allah forbids you to swear by your fathers. So whoever has to take an oath, let him swear by Allah — or keep silent.”

Lesson: Every “by my father”, “by my honour”, “by the Ka‘bah” is replaced in the believer’s mouth by one name only: Allah.

2. ‘Umar never swore by them again.

‘Umar said: “By Allah, I have never sworn by them since I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbidding it — neither on my own behalf nor quoting another.”

Lesson: The Companions’ adab with a prohibition was immediate and total: heard today, abandoned forever.

3. The false oath that buys another’s property.

“Whoever takes a false oath in order to grab another man’s property, Allah will be angry with him when he meets Him.” Then Allah confirmed it by revealing: “Those who sell Allah’s covenant and their oaths for a small price…” (3:77).

Lesson: A lying oath is not cleverness in a dispute; it is purchasing Allah’s anger with someone else’s wealth.

4. When you see better than your oath — expiate and do the better.

“Whenever you take an oath and then see something better than it, expiate your oath and do that which is better.” (And he ﷺ joined it with: do not ask for leadership — the hadith of ‘Abd ar-Rahman ibn Samurah.)

Lesson: An oath is never a chain that binds a man to the lesser deed; its expiation is the door Allah built into it.

5. The oath not to eat — broken for the children’s sake.

A man sat late with the Prophet ﷺ, came home to find his children asleep and his wife bringing food, and swore he would not eat because the children had slept hungry. Then he reconsidered, ate — and the Prophet ﷺ told him to expiate his oath.

Lesson: Even an oath sworn in a moment of feeling is released by the same door: feed the expiation, and do the kinder thing.

6. A vow of obedience must be kept; a vow of disobedience never.

“Whoever vows that he will obey Allah, let him obey Him; and whoever vows that he will disobey Allah, let him not disobey Him.”

Lesson: The vow inherits the ruling of its content: worship is fulfilled, sin is abandoned — the vow itself adds nothing to either.

7. Vows do not change what Allah has decreed.

He ﷺ forbade vowing and said: “In fact, vowing does not prevent anything; it only makes the miser spend his property.”

Lesson: Vow-making as a bargain with destiny is a misunderstanding: give the charity now, and ask Allah as a servant, not a trader.

8. The old man who vowed to walk to the Ka‘bah.

The Prophet ﷺ saw an old man walking, supported between his two sons, and asked about him. They said: he vowed to go on foot to the Ka‘bah. He said: “Allah is not in need of this old man’s torturing himself,” and ordered him to ride.

Lesson: Self-torture is not devotion; a vow that crushes the body is released, and the Ka‘bah is reached riding.