Etiquette & Sunnahs of Speech in the Quran & Sunnah

1. Speak kindly to people.

Allah says:

وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا

And speak to people good words. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:83)

Practical lesson: This teaches us to speak to parents, relatives, friends, neighbours and strangers with courtesy, respect and gentleness, and to avoid insults, belittling and abusive language even in disagreement.

2. Use the best and most fitting words.

Allah says:

وَقُلْ لِعِبَادِي يَقُولُوا الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ

And tell My servants to say that which is best. (Surah Al-Isra 17:53)

In the same verse it is mentioned that Satan tries to sow discord between people.

Practical lesson: This teaches us to adopt a manner of speaking that conveys the point and leads to reform, not one that needlessly creates hatred and enmity in hearts.

3. Speak the truth and what is correct.

Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا

O you who believe, fear Allah and speak words of truth (straight and correct). (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:70)

In the following verse Allah says that by doing so He will set your deeds right and forgive your sins.

Practical lesson: This teaches us to avoid lying, deceit, misrepresentation and any speech through which someone’s right is lost, and to take special care for truthfulness when speaking about testimony, promises, financial matters and people’s honour.

4. Keep the voice moderate when speaking.

Luqman (peace be upon him) advised his son:

وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ

And lower your voice; indeed, the harshest of sounds is the voice of donkeys. (Surah Luqman 31:19)

Practical lesson: This teaches us to avoid needless shouting, noise and raising the voice at others in ordinary conversation. Speaking in a suitably raised voice when there is a need for it is not forbidden.

5. Do not spread news without verifying it.

Allah says:

إِنْ جَاءَكُمْ فَاسِقٌ بِنَبَإٍ فَتَبَيَّنُوا

If a transgressor comes to you with a piece of news, verify it. (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:6)

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to pass on an accusation, report or message about a person as soon as it is heard; the facts should be verified first, especially when someone’s honour or right may be affected.

This verse states the principle of verifying news; it is not correct to label every narrator of news a transgressor on one’s own.

6. Avoid mocking others and using bad nicknames.

Allah says:

لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ

Let not a people ridicule another people. (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:11)

The verse goes on to forbid faulting one another and calling each other by offensive names.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to make fun of anyone’s colour, appearance, language, family, poverty or weakness, and not to call anyone by names that humiliate or distress him.

7. Avoid backbiting, suspicion and spying.

Allah says:

وَلَا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا

And do not backbite one another. (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12)

The same verse also forbids suspicion and spying.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to mention things about a person in his absence that he would dislike, and to avoid needlessly probing into people’s private matters and thinking ill of them without evidence.

8. Do not insult what others hold sacred.

Allah says:

وَلَا تَسُبُّوا الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ فَيَسُبُّوا اللَّهَ عَدْوًا بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ

And do not insult those they invoke other than Allah, lest they insult Allah in enmity without knowledge. (Surah Al-An'am 6:108)

Practical lesson: Despite religious differences, adopt evidence and civil conversation instead of insults and contempt. This verse specifically forbids insulting others’ deities so that a greater harm does not arise.

9. Consider your knowledge and the facts before speaking.

Allah says:

وَلَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ

And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. (Surah Al-Isra 17:36)

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to make confident claims on a subject we have no knowledge of, and to avoid presenting guesses, rumours or hearsay to others as established fact.

10. Do not feel that you must speak up in response to everything.

Allah says:

مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ

Man does not utter any word except that with him is an observer prepared (to record it). (Surah Qaf 50:18)

Practical lesson: This teaches us to think, before speaking, whether the statement is true, useful and appropriate; it is not necessary to respond to every argument, rumour or provocative message.

11. Be just and uphold the truth in conversation.

Allah says:

وَإِذَا قُلْتُمْ فَاعْدِلُوا وَلَوْ كَانَ ذَا قُرْبَىٰ

And when you speak, be just, even if it concerns a near relative. (Surah Al-An'am 6:152)

Practical lesson: This teaches us, in testimony, complaints, disputes and family matters, not to say anything false in someone’s favour merely because of kinship or friendship.

12. Avoid unnecessary private whispering.

Allah says:

لَا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلَاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ

There is no good in much of their private conversation, except for one who enjoins charity, or what is right, or reconciliation between people. (Surah An-Nisa 4:114)

Practical lesson: This teaches us to avoid secret talk that is for harming others, backbiting or causing discord. Private talk for good, advice, charity and reconciliation can be permissible and beneficial.

1. Say something good or keep silent.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ»

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or keep silent.

This is the foundational hadith on the etiquette of speech.

Practical lesson: If the speech is beneficial and lawful, it may be said; if it may cause someone harm, lying, backbiting or discord, it is better to stay silent. This does not mean staying silent from speaking the truth or giving necessary testimony.

2. Guard the tongue.

Sahl ibn Sa’d (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«مَنْ يَضْمَنْ لِي مَا بَيْنَ لَحْيَيْهِ وَمَا بَيْنَ رِجْلَيْهِ أَضْمَنْ لَهُ الْجَنَّةَ»

Whoever guarantees to me what is between his two jaws (the tongue) and what is between his two legs (the private part), I guarantee Paradise for him.

Practical lesson: This teaches us to keep the tongue safe from lying, abuse, slander, backbiting and statements that harm other people.

3. Do not pass on everything you hear.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ كَذِبًا أَنْ يُحَدِّثَ بِكُلِّ مَا سَمِعَ»

It is enough lying for a person that he narrates everything he hears.

Practical lesson: This teaches us that it is not right to forward every report one hears; it should be verified first, especially when it concerns a person’s honour, character or religion.

4. Avoid lying even in jest.

Abu Umamah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that he guarantees a house on the outskirts of Paradise for one who gives up arguing even though he is in the right; a house in the middle of Paradise for one who gives up lying even in jest; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one who makes his character good.

Do not invent false stories, fake incidents or untrue claims about someone to make people laugh. Truthful and lawful humour is separate from this prohibition.

5. Give up pointless arguments and quarrels.

In the hadith mentioned above, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ gave the glad tidings of a house in Paradise to the one who gives up quarrelling even when he is in the right.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to turn every disagreement into a long quarrel; if the only aim is to put the other person down, giving up the argument is better. However, this does not mean abandoning necessary clarification, bearing witness to the truth, or scholarly research merely because there is disagreement.

6. Avoid being excessively quarrelsome.

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«إِنَّ أَبْغَضَ الرِّجَالِ إِلَى اللَّهِ الْأَلَدُّ الْخَصِمُ»

Indeed, the most hated of men to Allah is the one who is most quarrelsome and argumentative.

Practical lesson: There is a difference between explaining something with evidence and constantly quarrelling. The aim of speech should be to make the truth clear, not to humiliate or defeat the other person.

7. Avoid cursing, abuse and obscene speech.

Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«لَيْسَ الْمُؤْمِنُ بِالطَّعَّانِ وَلَا اللَّعَّانِ وَلَا الْفَاحِشِ وَلَا الْبَذِيءِ»

The believer is not one who taunts, curses, is obscene or is foul-mouthed.

Practical lesson: This teaches us to avoid abuse, cursing and obscene words even in disagreement, and to correct someone’s mistake in a courteous manner.

8. Avoid speaking ill of others.

Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) reported that when a man cursed the wind, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that he should not curse it, for it is under the command of Allah.

Practical lesson: In another narration, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade invoking the curse of Allah, His wrath or Hellfire upon others. The tongue should be kept away from unnecessary cursing and ill-wishing. Praying for someone or warning him is not the same in every case; the nature of the matter and the limits of the Sharia must be kept in view.

9. Two people should not whisper to each other leaving out the third.

Abdullah ibn Masud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that when you are three, two persons should not hold a private conversation excluding the third, because that may grieve him.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to hold private talk in a gathering in a way that makes the third person feel excluded, suspected or belittled; where there is a genuine need, a suitable and courteous arrangement should be made.

10. Avoid double-faced speech and hypocrisy.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that among the worst of people is the one who comes to one group with one face and to another group with another face.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to say one thing in front of one person and the opposite in front of another in order to cause discord between people.

11. Do not say what will cause harm later.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that a person may say a word pleasing to Allah, not realizing its weight, and because of it Allah raises him in rank; and he may say a word displeasing to Allah, not realizing its gravity, and because of it he falls into Hell.

Practical lesson: This teaches us not to take words lightly: a sentence can protect someone’s honour and help him, or it can cause great harm.

12. Be cheerful in conversation, but avoid lying.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ laid down the rule for every mood: “Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person.” Jest is no exception to that rule — his cheerfulness never left the truth.

Practical lesson: Humour and cheerfulness within lawful limits can be part of good conversation. It does not require lying, ridicule, frightening someone or humiliating anyone.

13. Speak respectfully about Allah and His Messenger ﷺ.

Allah forbade raising the voice above the voice of the Prophet ﷺ when speaking with him:

لَا تَرْفَعُوا أَصْوَاتَكُمْ فَوْقَ صَوْتِ النَّبِيِّ

Do not raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet. (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:2)

This verse was revealed specifically about etiquette with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. It can be mentioned as an example of respect in general conversation, but its specific ruling should not be applied to every person and every difference in voice without detail.

14. Respect others’ words and honour in conversation.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that the believer is the one from whom people feel safe regarding their lives and wealth.

Practical lesson: Threatening with words, pressuring someone by threatening to expose a secret, making false accusations, or trying to ruin someone’s reputation goes against this principle of safety.

15. Protect yourself from harmful talk through silence.

Abdullah ibn Amr (may Allah be pleased with them) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

«مَنْ صَمَتَ نَجَا»

Whoever remains silent is saved.

Practical lesson: When the result of speaking may be quarrel, backbiting or lying, silence is beneficial. However, bearing witness to the truth, helping the oppressed and saying what is necessary are also important in their place.