Dua When Angry: What the Quran and Sunnah Teach About Controlling Anger
Anger is one of the fastest ways to lose a relationship, a reputation, and a reward. A word spoken in ten seconds of rage can take ten years to repair. Yet anger itself is a natural human feeling — even the Companions felt it. What Islam teaches is not how to never feel anger, but exactly what to do in the moment it strikes: a specific dua to say, specific steps to take, and a specific mindset to hold on to. And for the one who controls himself at that burning moment, Allah has promised a reward so public and so generous that it will be announced before all of creation on the Day of Judgement.
This guide brings together the authentic teaching on anger — from the Quran, and from hadith that are Sahih or Hasan, with every reference linked so you can verify each one yourself.
1. The Dua When Angry — A’udhu Billahi min ash-Shaytan ir-Rajim
The single most important thing to do when anger rises is to say the words of refuge. This is not a figure of speech; it is a treatment the Prophet ﷺ prescribed while watching a man in the grip of rage:
أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ
Transliteration: A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim. Meaning: “I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.”
Sulaiman ibn Surad reported: “Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, “I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.”‘” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6115 — Sahih)
The same event is recorded in Sahih Muslim with even more vivid detail: “the eyes of one of them became red as embers and the veins of his neck were swollen. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: I know of a wording, if he were to utter that, his fit of rage (would be no more and that wording is): I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the accursed.” (Sahih Muslim 2610a — Sahih)
Why do these words work? Because anger, when it is provoked and pushed beyond limits, is an opening for Shaytan — and the Quran itself gives the same prescription:
“Should a stroke from the Satan strike you, seek refuge with Allah. Surely, He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.”
So the first step is always the tongue turning to Allah before it turns on a person: say A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim, slowly and consciously, and repeat it until the heat begins to leave. You can keep this dua with your other daily supplications on the Dua When Angry page, and browse the full collection on our Duas page.
2. “Do Not Become Angry” — The Shortest Advice Ever Given
A man once came to the Prophet ﷺ asking for comprehensive advice, and received an answer of just a few words — repeated every time he asked again. Abu Huraira reported: “A man said to the Prophet (ﷺ), ‘Advise me!’ The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘Do not become angry.’ The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet (ﷺ) said in each case, ‘Do not become angry.'” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6116 — Sahih)
The man kept asking, expecting something longer — a list of deeds, perhaps. The Prophet ﷺ kept returning him to the same gate: anger. The lesson is that anger is the doorway through which a person loses control of his tongue, his hands, and his judgement; guard that doorway, and much of the religion becomes easy to guard with it. “Do not become angry” does not mean the feeling will never come — it means: do not let the feeling drive. Do not speak from it, do not act from it, do not decide from it.
3. Real Strength Is Controlling Yourself
Many people think strength is the ability to overpower others. The Prophet ﷺ redefined strength entirely. Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114 — Sahih)
The same teaching is in Sahih Muslim: “The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.” (Sahih Muslim 2609a — Sahih)
Anyone can explode — that takes no strength at all. The wrestler throws other bodies; the truly strong man throws down his own rage while it is burning, while his face is red and his hands are shaking. That is the victory Islam honours. Remembering this in the moment reframes everything: staying calm is not weakness or surrender; in the language of the Sunnah, it is the highest form of power.
4. Step One: Change Your Position — Sit Down, Then Lie Down
Along with the words of refuge, the Prophet ﷺ taught a physical step that interrupts anger’s momentum. Abu Dharr reported that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to them: “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.” (Sunan Abu Dawud 4782 — Sahih)
Standing is the posture of confrontation; sitting lowers the body and the voice with it, and lying down removes the readiness to act altogether. The steps are deliberately gradual: sit first — for many people the anger leaves at that point. If it remains, lie down. And the principle extends naturally: move away from the scene, step out of the room, break the physical setting in which the anger is feeding. The Sunnah works on the body to reach the heart.
5. Step Two: Stay Silent and Do Not Answer Back
Anger does its worst damage through the tongue, so the second step is to close that door: do not fire back. The value of silence at the moment of provocation is shown in a remarkable incident with Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him). Sa’id ibn al-Musayyab reported: “While the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was sitting with some of his companions, a man reviled AbuBakr and insulted him. But AbuBakr remained silent. He insulted him twice, but AbuBakr controlled himself. He insulted him thrice and AbuBakr took revenge on him. Then the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) got up when AbuBakr took revenge. AbuBakr said: Were you angry with me, Messenger of Allah? The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) replied: An angel came down from Heaven and he was rejecting what he had said to you. When you took revenge, a devil came down. I was not going to sit when the devil came down.” (Sunan Abu Dawud 4896 — Hasan)
Think about what this means: while you stay silent under provocation, an angel is answering on your behalf. The moment you answer back yourself, that heavenly defence leaves, and Shaytan takes the seat instead. Silence is not losing the argument — it is letting someone far stronger make it for you.
And when the storm passes, the Quran teaches what to do with the relationship itself:
“Good and evil are not equal. Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he were a close friend.”
Responding to harshness with excellence — a soft word, a gift, an apology first, a visit — is the Quran’s strategy for turning enemies into close friends. This is covered in more depth in our Adab library entry on the etiquette of controlling anger, part of the wider Islamic Manners collection.
6. Step Three: Forgive — The Portrait of the People Allah Loves
Controlling anger has two stages: swallowing it, and then letting it go completely by forgiving. The Quran describes the people of Paradise with exactly this quality. Among their traits, Allah says:
“…those who control anger and forgive people. And Allah loves those who are good in their deeds…”
Notice the sequence: control anger, then forgive people — and the result: “Allah loves those who are good in their deeds.” Swallowing anger stops the harm; forgiving removes the grudge, and a grudge is anger that has been stored to burn another day. The same portrait appears in Surah Ash-Shura, describing the believers:
“…and (for those who) when they get angry, they forgive…”
And Allah confirms the rank of this act:
“And if one observes patience and forgives, it is, of course, one of the courageous conducts.”
Patience and forgiveness are not described as softness here — they are described as courage and resolve, among the matters of determination. The one who forgives while angry is, in the Quran’s own words, doing one of the bravest things a person can do.
7. The Reward for Swallowing Anger
What does Allah give the person who could have exploded — and had every ability and every excuse to do so — but swallowed his anger instead? The Prophet ﷺ described a scene on the Day of Resurrection. Mu’adh ibn Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “If anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes.” (Sunan Abu Dawud 4777 — Hasan)
This same reward is transmitted in two other collections, confirming the report: Jami’ at-Tirmidhi records, “Whoever suppresses his rage while he is able to unleash it, Allah will call him before the heads (leaders) of creation on the Day of Judgement…” (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 2021 — Hasan) and Sunan Ibn Majah records, “Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to implement it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Resurrection, and will give him his choice of any houri that he wants.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 4186 — Hasan)
Consider the honour in this: the moment of restraint happens in private — in a kitchen, in a traffic jam, in a family argument where nobody praises you for holding back. Allah will honour that hidden moment in public, calling you by name before the heads of all creation. Every swallowed outburst, every harsh reply bitten back, is being recorded for that announcement.
Common Questions
Is feeling angry itself a sin? No. The teachings above never condemn the feeling — even the Companions’ faces reddened in the Prophet’s ﷺ presence. What is judged is what anger is allowed to do: the words spoken, the harm done. The Quran praises those who “control anger” (3:134), which assumes anger is present to be controlled. The task is mastery, not absence of feeling.
What should I do first when anger suddenly rises? Follow the order of the Sunnah itself: (1) say A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim; (2) change your posture — if standing, sit down; if the anger remains, lie down; (3) stay silent and do not answer back; (4) when calm, address the issue — and forgive. Each step above is taken directly from the references linked in this article.
What about making wudu (the ritual ablution) when angry? Is that from the Sunnah? The narration quoted for this is graded weak (Da’if), so it is not relied on here — this article builds only on what is Sahih or Hasan.
How many times should I say the refuge words? The hadith of Bukhari 6115 does not fix a number; it promises that if the angry man says the words, they “will cause him to relax.” Say them as many times as needed, slowly and with attention to their meaning, until the anger subsides.
I already said hurtful things in anger. What now? Calm down first using the steps above — then repair. The Quran’s command to “repel (evil) with what is best” (41:34) applies to our own wrongs too: apologise sincerely, restore any right you violated, and ask Allah’s forgiveness. Patience and forgiveness after the fact are still “one of the courageous conducts” (42:43).
Conclusion
Anger will visit every one of us. What separates the strong from the weak, in the teaching of the Quran and the Prophet ﷺ, is what happens in the next sixty seconds. Say the words of refuge — A’udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim. Sit down, lie down, walk away. Stay silent while the angel answers for you. Then forgive, because Allah loves those who control anger and forgive people, and He has promised to honour the one who swallows his rage — before all of creation, on the Day when honour matters most.
Memorise the dua, practise the steps, and teach them to your children. The next time anger rises, you will not be unarmed.
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